|
Remember Me
Turn your head. Turn it away from your
life, and face the box in front of you. See the static-y, electronic
shapes. See the truth inside the whispering screen, see facts,
see revelation, see it all spilled before you, in a cacophony
of images. See the shouting reporter, hand clasped to her ear.
Hear her words, but also hear them rush past you, incomprehensible,
unknowable. Hear the screaming people, see the camera twist and
heave. See the reporter duck, see her wide, racoon eyes frantic
and terrified. See all this in a fraction of a moment. See it
through the careful lens of the box. See it through the great
eye of the watching camera.
Then-
You see the blurred figures. The camera strives towards them,
but is thrown back by invisible arms. You see the smaller figure
break away, fleeing the others, fleeing the two men in dark coats.
The fleeing form runs with the desperation of the lost, with
frantic, terrified speed, but it cannot go far. The camera says
so, and a great booming noise, horribly final, tears the figure
apart. It falls and lies on its side, curled protectively around
itself. A redness surrounds it now. The camera pants, delighted,
and leans closer.
You pull away, perhaps repulsed. Perhaps you put your hands to
your head. But you still watch. You can pull back, but you cannot
turn away. You are held captive by the flickering box, by the
roving camera, as its turns its single defining eye upon the
two men.
The older man, the taller one, the one whom you recognise with
an uncomfortable jolt, glances down at the shotgun in his hands.
There is blood on his blond hair, and his eyes are obscured by
the glare on his glasses. He is looking over at the figure curled
on the ground. There is nothing on his face. It is as though
it is etched from stone. A brief wind moves his blond hair, and
for a moment the sun catches it. His head is now suddenly ablaze,
lit by the sun, a shining crown.
You hear the reporter. You hear her distant, tinny voice, as
though it is being piped through tin cans and a string, the kind
you made with your brother when you were a child.
". . . City legislation. This is the second such occurrence
in barely a week. These artificial beings, although human-like
in appearance are known for their viciousness when dealing with
human life. There have been two android related murders in the
past year alone, and the City Council has moved, at the urging
of Councilwoman and business magnate--"
You miss the name, but suddenly the screen is filled by the still
photo of a woman. She has a beautiful, soft face, and tendrils
of dark red hair curve loosely around her chin. She is smiling,
but the smile only curves the ends of her round mouth. Her eyes
are sharp and intelligent. Her cold, not-real smile bothers you.
The announcer drifts away from you as the camera once again falls
upon the prone figure. You watch the spreading redness underneath
it, and wonder why it's bleeding, if it is indeed an artificial
creature.
The camera jolts one final time, and focuses on the second man.
He is smaller than the first, more slender, and his face is not
empty; it is pained. His brown eyes stare away, beyond the camera,
to where the broken android must be lying. His gaze is lit with
a confused, empty pity.
***
When you went into The Edge, you always
went in looking for something. Mostly it was a good time, the
chance to lose yourself in the flow of the music, to catch the
tail of the light show, to feel the beat of the drums through
and through your sobbing soul, and forget. Some of you go to
call on your mistress, be she person or alcohol, and move across
the dance floor clasped to each other, body to body. Surprisingly
few come through the neon doors looking for friends. You came
alone, but if you were lucky, you wouldn't leave alone.
Grant came looking for his daughter. There is a room above the
club, next to the DJ's stand, a room lit with pink clouds and
prancing ponies where only the vaguest beat from the music could
be heard. The room is a favour for Grant, who often dealt in
favours, in trades and bargains, as they brought better results
than money. The room is a large favour, a favour out of tune
with the club, with the dancers below and the racing lights,
but the bargain struck was beneficial to all, and all are distantly
content.
Grant trots up the iron stairs with a light tread, keeping carefully
out of tune with the music. He is also careful not to look down,
where the neon lights raced and bodies twisted. He frowns, and
turns the collar of his jacket up, to hide the view below. It
was unforgivably late. He'd have to take Owly out the back way.
God forbid she'd look below and become entranced by the music.
He reaches the above, the wide iron catwalk, the DJ's platform,
the room-that-is-a-favour and opens the door, swinging it inward.
Immediately in time with the soundproof walls, the music silences.
May sees him from outside the wide window, out on the DJ's roost,
and waves. She leaves the twisting turntables and comes through
the opposite door, to stand on tip-toe to brush her lips against
his cheek. This is her greeting, made to all and meaning nothing,
but he still stiffens involuntarily and turns his eyes away.
"Heyyyy," she smiles. "She conked out a while
back. I let her be. God, you're late."
"I know," he says, ashamed. It wasn't May, of course.
There was no guile, no judgement in her open features, but he
still feels unworthy. The critic inside him roars, screaming
bad parent bad father how could you?? and he shouts back
at it: I'm here, aren't I?? I'm not abandoning her, I have
to work! Leave me alone.
But it still didn't excuse his lateness.
"What happened?" she asks, but her eyes were bright,
and he knew if he told her the truth, it would eventually reach
the dance floor, and rise up, a delicious, haunting rumour for
all to tell. Rumours about him are the best kind of rumours.
Rumours about him reach up, to the glowing throne of politics
and power.
"Oh, nothing," he shrugs. "Just late. Sorry. Where
is she?"
"Asleep in the back. Where else?" she says teasingly,
eyeing him. Her oval face is lit with a curlicue half-smile,
beguiling under her shock of green hair. C'mon, she begs, c'mon,
dance with me. He isn't in the mood; the just-finished day weighs
too heavily on him and he moves past her, towards another door,
this one decorated with a smiling cartoon elephant.
And so she was. Asleep, chubby starfish-shaped hands tucked under
her round chin, indigo hair haloing her face, clashing with the
pristine white of the pillow.
"Thanks, May," Grant says, and bends suddenly, to press
his own adult face against the sleeping child's neck. What are
you doing? something inside him shrieks, and he squeezes his
eyes shut, wishing. What am I doing...? he thinks, echoing
the voice. What am I doing keeping her here? God, if I wasn't
so broke... If I didn?t have to work... If if if...
If only the City spun away, and came back washed pure and clean
of its neon garb. If only its cleansing meant green parks and
swingsets. If only the grey sky split and blue spilled upon the
drab buildings, blue that rose up and above, that curled around
him and her and made all . . . perfect.
She wakes, suddenly, sensing him.
"Hi Daddy," she says groggily, and reaches for him.
"Hi Owly. Ready to go?"
May watches them from the outer room. The music calls to her,
the turntables gyrating with animalistic fury, sounding in time
with the twisting bodies. But there, in the inner room ringed
with fluffy clouds and doe-eyed ponies, there, as Grant pulls
the child's sweater over her head, so that her hair is caught
in the neck, making her giggle sleepily.... There, that there,
in some distant inner womb, that calls to her too. She turns
away.
"Daddy, can I say good-bye to Max?"
She is still half asleep, and Grant dismisses the x' as
a mere lisp.
"Sure, May's right outside-"
"No," and she insistently comes awake. "Max! I
want to say good-bye to Max."
He carries her into the outer room, where the wide window displays
the muted club. May is still standing there, still looking with
that bemused expression.
"Who's Max?" He asks her. She grins, broadly.
"Oh! New girl. Just came in last week. She's singing for
the club, but I think she likes kids or something, cause
she was up here earlier. Read a book to Owly." It comes
out in a rush, and May's cheeks flush. There is something there,
something interesting and sly about her words. Grant tilts his
head, looking at her quizzically.
"Max? A girl?"
"It's what she calls herself. We don't put . . . uh, we
don't care about names here. She's Max." And again May smiles,
again with that excited, knowing smile. Again, and again. It
chimes in time with the vague beat of the muted music.
"Wanna meet her?"
"I want to say good-bye," Owly says, head tucked beneath
Grant's chin. She is slipping away again, and the words have
a dreamy quality.
"I . ." he hesitates. "I really should go. It's
really late."
"Yeah," says May. "Pity. You'd like her."
Again the smile.
"I should go," he mutters again, and moves to the door,
which opens suddenly from the other side.
He is close enough to see the freckles spotting her snub nose.
He is close enough to see the sudden dilation of her pupils as
she takes him in, close enough to see the flowers painted childishly
around her eyes. The flowers are three different shades of blue,
and circles her dark eyes, the
colours sharp next to the paleness of her skin. This must
be her.
"Hi," she says, but it was not for him. Owly reaches
a starfish-shaped hand out to her and she caught it between slender
fingers.
Her gaze jolts back to him, her eyes as wide and unfocussed as
a newborn's. She blinks, carefully, the way an owl blinks, in
animalistic innocence. She is beautiful in that way. Whole and
untouched, the blue flowers the only sign of man-made interference.
In an age of cosmetic perfection, her freckles burn on her upturned
nose, and her eyes are brown, not kewpie-doll blue.
He holds his breath. He wonders if May knows. No, she must know,
and the girl in front of him would have been hired to make a
point, despite the horrible illegality of the action.
But the girl smiles at him, and is even more beautiful for it.
If she saw through him, there is no sign.
"Hi. You're Grant, right? I've heard a lot about you,"
she says shyly, and blinks again, still in that careful, mechanical
way.
He smiles, nods, and turns his head downward, to Owly, so he
will not have to look at her. He is conflicted, and Owly's voice
rises in the past: No! Max! I want to say good-by to Max.
He dangles between what he has been taught, and what is standing
before him, with freckles on her pretty nose.
They speak, briefly. She smiles and ducks her head awkwardly
and laughs once. Below the beat of the music changes and black
light roars across the club. White becomes lit by black, and
shines with a neon glow. Smiles glare in the night, people laughing
at their shining teeth.
"That's my cue," she says suddenly, and almost bows.
"See you!" And she skips away, lightly. Lighter than
him, lighter than anything human. He looks away, careful not
to watch her as she leaves. He is almost trembling.
"I can't believe you let that thing near my daughter,"
he says, and May's head jerks up, surprised.
"Grant, she's just as human as you or I. Don't tell me you
believe that shit the politicians shove down everyone's throats-?"
"No, its not," he says softly. "It's a machine.
It's not human." Owly squirms in his arms. He takes her
out the back way. She has her arms wrapped so tightly around
his neck he is almost choking. At the top of the iron stairs
he pauses. He hadn't meant to stop there, but he still pauses,
and the music from below rises up and swirls around his ankles.
She is on the little stage now, brown hair flying. Her eyes are
brilliantly lit, and even from the top of the stairs, he can
see the freckles sprinkling her imperfect nose. Lights explode
behind her, pierce her, and for a moment he imagines he can see
through her, into her mechanical skeleton and heart. But the
voice that rises about the chaos is tragic, and unspeakably beautiful.
"That's Max," says Owly, but her voice is worried.
Something has twisted in her little world, confusing her.
"Yeah," he says, and turns away.
From the little stage, the android looks out over the bobbing
heads of the dancers and watches him go. Her dark, very-real
eyes are filled with a wordless pity.
***
And now raise your eyes from the girl on the stage, if you can.
Look out over the great expanse of the City. Look out over its
dark depths, the way you looked into the dance club, with fevor
and excitement. Look now, and look hard. Follow the City skyline,
see where it is etched against the sky, a mechanical being, its
great buildings reaching up to stab at the stars. See the City,
the great City, smell its exhalation, hear its sighs, and when
you are tired of this, look deeper and see the building.
No, not that one... the one beside it. The one with the great
towering spires, and wide gardens beside it. The one with power
ingrained into its iron girders. The building that screams that
it is so important so very very important, that inside its walls
is held the beating heart of the City. See how different it is
from the rest of the City. See the two stained glass windows,
see the roses inching up the bricked walls. The dusky vines that
cradle the great building, that wrap tightly around its marble
columns, snake up the bricked walls, and entangle themselves
in the wrong iron bars of the balcony. There is something majestic
about the building. Something in its great body harkens back
to an earlier, less complicated time. A time when the City did
not stretch so far. A time so very long ago, and so very lost
to now.
The woman, whom you must remember from the photo on the television,
stands on the balcony, which is halfway between the sea and the
sky. The building crouches gracefully on a slight rise, and below
it foams the rushing sea. All cities, all successful cities,
sit at the mouth of a sea, and this water is wide and dark and
full of stars.
She stands on the balcony, surrounded by the creeping roses,
and turns her face to them. They rise to meet her, and open their
petals in adoration. She looks at them, and they at her. Her
hair is as dark and red as they are, and is curiously unbound.
She has thrown off the shackles of the day, and her suit lies
crumpled on the floor of the apartment behind her. Her bare shoulders
are bright in the City's night.
A wind, colder, harsher than the breeze, rushes suddenly out
over the sea and lifts her red hair from her neck. She raises
her head, eyes searching; the wind also carries the distant roar
of the club, and the android's voice whispers softly.
The roses mutter among themselves. She is so quiet she is
so still whatever can be wrong? They chant. The woman stares
away from them, and remains there, looking out over the rush
of white-capped water, listening as the final strain of music
dies away. A great darkness settles on her face. It tints her
brilliant eyes, and curves around her mouth.
The roses sigh, distantly, then gasp with relief as the door
to the apartment opens with a noisy whisper. He's here he's
here now everything will be well they murmur, but she does
not turn towards the sound of him entering. The roses do, however,
and see from the exhausted slope of his shoulders that it has
been a trying day. Days do not roll off him, as they roll off
her. She remains untouched, eyes unlined, face as smooth as a
child's, while worry distantly creases his eyes. The long dark
coat slides from him, and he tiredly shakes his blond head. The
roses turn to her, waiting.
"There's a machine at that club," she says softly,
and bends to cup a rose between careful hands.
"You'll have to go tomorrow, and kill it."
***
Grant awoke early the next day. He hadn't
meant to, but a heaviness, a strange guilt had followed him home,
allied with the itchiness of a restless night. The stars had
been out by the time they'd returned to their little house, twinkling
desperately against the blazing City nightlights. The street
was lined with streetlamps, electric heads bowed as if in reverent
prayer. They had watched him silently, watched him carry the
sleeping child beneath their wide gaze, watched with voyeuristic
pleasure as he fumbled with the keys to the door, watched, grinning,
as he slipped through it, and was finally hidden.
An uncomfortable night pressed, and he lay on his bed with the
curtains open, staring into the City night. He wasn't sure what
he felt. He thought distantly of the young woma-the android,
he corrected himself, and felt an even heavier weight settling
in his stomach.
Finally, sleep insisted.
"Daddy?"
He feels her climb onto the bed, and sighs, pulling the covers
over his head.
"Daddy?"
She clambers on top of him, and merrily bounces on his chest.
"Wake up! Wake up! You promised!"
He sighs again. He hadn't exactly promised, but to a child everything
is a promise, even a lie. He pushes the covers back, and regards
her, bemused. Sunlight staggers into the room, drunk and giddy,
painting the walls a brilliant yellow. If the City had beautiful
days, this could have been one.
"Alright, alright," he shrugs the blanket from his
body, and swings his legs over the side of the bed. Owly bounces
higher, and springs shriek under her somersaults. A wide smile
splits her face, and she raises her hands in time with the groaning
springs.
"Yaaaaaayyy! Today we go to the park!" She shouts,
as though there is someone besides Grant to hear her, as though
she is telling someone else a glorious secret. "Today today
today today!" she shouts, and the sound roars off the sun-shined
walls.
Grant reaches for her, and pulls her to him.
"Okay, yeah . . . In a minute. Don't wake the neighborhood."
She tucks herself into his arms, head under his chin, eyes wide
and fingers in her mouth. She presses her face to the scratchy
fabric of his T-shirt and sighs deeply. He places his chin carefully
on the crown of her head and together they sit like that, the
sun drifting past their bronzed figures.
***
You see the arching buildings reach out
to the sun, see them stained red in the Sunday light. You see
the sun lance through the wide, open balcony doors, the doors
that are normally closed on the apartment. But now they are flung
open, welcoming the sun, and the roses curled around the balcony
raise their faces upwards, silently worshipping. You see the
man standing on the balcony, forearms resting on the iron fence,
the roses ignoring him with steadfast calm. He stares down into
the rising water, which licks greedily at the base of the building.
His cold blue eyes watch the rushing sea, and the sun lights
his blond head, so that it blazes in the reddening dawn.
Behind him the woman is curled in their bed. Her red hair spills
out on the pillow, encircling her bare shoulders. The sheets
are twisted around her body. In her sleep, she sighs, dreamily.
The man glances back at her, then turns suddenly, and strides
through the apartment. He pulls a shirt on over his head, and
shrugs into the long black coat. He pauses before leaving, though,
and stops to place the tips of his fingers on the woman's forehead
for a moment, as though in silent prayer.
She does not hear the sound of the door closing, and sighs again,
pulling the sheets closer around her. In her sleep, she whispers
after him: don't forget.
***
You see the child skip towards the playground,
which glints with newness. You see Grant following, hands stuffed
into his cargo pants, shoulders hunched against the sun. He is
not old, but his hair is a shocking white. You see the android,
perched gracefully on the top bar of the jungle gym, watching
him curiously. She remembers his eyes from the night before,
dark and quiet, distantly judgmental. She thinks how odd it must
be to have white hair like that, and yet be so young. She wonders
if he was teased as a child; if other children, frantic for acceptance,
had turned on him with his white hair, and made up horrible chants
that would later haunt his dreams.
"Owly," Grant has just seen the android. He sees her
out of the corner of his eye, the dark shape balanced on the
inch-wide bar, balanced on the balls of her feet, hands clasped
behind her head. She looks as though she is about to take flight,
and stares out over the playground, waiting for the perfect wind.
"Owly, come here now," He reaches for her, but she
has skipped too far ahead, intent on the hanging swings. Her
head turns, looking at him in confusion. Her blue eyes, so dark
that the pupil is almost lost, squint against the glare of the
noon sun.
"Owly, NOW. Come here NOW."
She looks past him and sees the dark bird shape of the android.
"HI MAX!" she bellows, and waves a starfish-plump hand.
"HI MAX!"
The child yelps when he grabs her, yanking her away from her
waving. She struggles suddenly against him, human instinct overwhelming
the rational thought of this is my parent he will not harm
me he is here to protect me I am his. Flight response whirls
in her brain, and her knee connects brutally with his stomach.
He gasps, and manages to fall backwards on the grass in a most
spectacular fashion.
The android chuckles and stares down at him, face lit with amusement.
"Hi Max," says Owly, and is suddenly shy, and looks
down too.
He scrambles to his feet, body twisted so that he is always facing
her, and nudges Owly.
"Go to the swings, Owly, please."
The child glances from adult to adult. Her eyes are round and
bewildered. Grant opens his mouth to ask her again, to beg her
to go, but suddenly she turns and wanders away. He edges carefully
to the side, hoping the movement looks natural, casual, and places
himself between the retreating child and the mechanical woman.
Except there is nothing mechanical about her. The strange, delaying
motions, the wide, all-too innocent stare is strangely absent.
He feels his heart sink.
The android laughs, bitterly.
"May said you were different. She's idealistic, her and
her Edge-friends. Always making a point, I suppose. I think it's
funny when you prove people wrong."
Her smile is very distant. It is not angry. It is just empty
and defeated. She looks almost like a broken doll, its painted
smile still shining from its cracked, mauled face. Her brown
almost-real eyes turn down to the grass beneath their feet.
"I'm second generation," she says abruptly. "We
don't do those stupid tics... The blinking. The thing with the
eyes. We're not that . . . inept. We're developed, as beings.
Not like those first generation models. I guess you would've
only seen those. I'm different. I'm new. Like the movie said:
more human than human."
It is as though she is reciting a factory line, listing her specifications
to a prospective buyer. He half expects her to do a pirouette,
and sing a jingle that goes with her model. He blinks, disbelieving.
Her eyes are still downcast, and he gazes strangely at the top
of her dark head. For some reason he wishes she would look up,
so he could see her freckled nose.
"You..." He shakes his head. The concept trickles blandly
through his mind, shocking him. In the background, the swings
creak musically, and Owly pumps her chubby legs, soaring higher
with each stroke. "You did that on purpose... At the club."
She looks up.
"Yeah. May, the way she talked about you, it was like you
were a saint."
It was Grant's turn to look away, frowning. It wasn't fair. He
was far from a saint, and May knew it. Favours were traded at
the club. And if those favours were information, little tidbits
about the inner-workings of the City's power-mongers, in exchange
for a safe place for Owly... well, that meant nothing. There
was no cause. He couldn't afford to take sides. It had only been
a favour. It had only been May's idea: Hey, Grant, she
had said, smiling. Smiling ever so pleasantly. You need a
hand? C'mon, we're friends... I'll help you. All I want are a
few words... A few harmless little words. You're on the inside.
You know the politics. Just a few words, that's all I want. We're
not trying to start a revolution, just bring down something that's
rotten and corrupt. And she had continued smiling, thinking
she was making him choose. Choose between the place he worked
in, and that which she thought was right. He had not, though.
Her world was no better than the one he frequented. She was no
more right than they were.
"But..." The android's voice choked off, and he snapped
back to the now, frowning.
"But I saw you on the television. With him. A cop
would never give a shit about a synth, so I knew--"
"I'm not a cop," he is surprised at the viciousness
in his voice.
"No," she says softly, and her eyes blaze with a sudden
judgement. He knows what she is thinking, what she is chanting
merrily in her head: you're not a cop, you're WORSE! You're
lower than that, you take your power from--
"I'm sorry," she says, and when he looks closely, he
sees that she is indeed, very sorry. The brief judgement is gone.
"I shouldn't have said that. I don't even know you. It's
just..." she fidgets, glancing
around, at the park, at the stubby trees, at a soaring seagull.
"May and her friends, they see everything in black and white.
This is good, that is bad. We're in the right, they're in the
wrong, and it can't be like that . . ."
"So I'm sorry," she says again. He is shocked to see
a strange agony in her eyes, as she looks past him, where Owly
spins on the creaking swings. She turns away, intent on fleeing.
"Max . . ?" The name catches in his throat. There is
a distant roaring in his ears. The great heaviness in his chest
stirs as though it is alive, as though it is a snake curled in
his lung. "How'd you get that name?"
She turns back and smiles, genuinely this time.
"It was a gift."
***
"We used to give each other names,
because they wouldn't," says Max. They sit on the park bench,
the chipped wooden slats which bear the scars of a thousand knives
(A.E loves G.B, J.S. is a perv) digging into their backs,
and watch Owly in the sandbox. She is building a miniature city.
It rises up around her, stacks of damp sand perfectly crafted
beneath her childish fingers. Max swings her legs under the bench,
childishly. Grant peers at her out of the corner of his eye.
He rationalises, insisting to himself that she is not a threat.
He tells himself that if she meant to hurt them, she would have
tried to by now. But he still watches her watching his daughter,
and is strangely disturbed by it all.
"At night, we used to creep around the lab and write our
names into the walls. It was like we were proving we had existed,
that we were permanent. It was sort of like--" she looks
at him, sneakered feet suddenly stilled. "It was like we
were . . ." she pauses, and Grant sees frustration on her
face. She has no words for the action. Nothing can describe it.
"You were leaving proof of yourself, so that others would
remember?" he phrases it like a question. She shakes her
head.
"No one remembers us," she says. Grant looks away.
Owly has made another castle, packing the wet sand into a hump-like
shape. He hears her talking to herself: ". . . and then
the dragon came along and said who's been living in my
castle?' and the princess said--"
"Who gave you your name?" asks the android.
"Um. . . my father. I'm named after him." Grant rubs
a hand through his white hair. He stares intently at Owly.
"That's . . . nice." Max whispers, and Grant laughs,
nervously. Yes, it is nice, to be named after fathers and grandfathers,
to have a lineage and a family. To trace yourself through the
years, to have your blood ingrained into the ages. How nice.
How wonderful. Such things are not so common, and the android's
eyes are lit with a kind of jealousy.
"No," he says quietly. "It's not nice. You didn't
know my father." He clutches at a clump of hair at the back
of his head. He looks away, an old anger rising in his chest.
He presses it down, subdues it with a familiar, blinding calm.
The cell in his pocket chortles suddenly, and he lunges for it,
relieved. The little mechanical scrap never brought good things,
but this surreality, chatting with an artificial creature accused
of atrocities and terror, talking with it so casually. . . it
was almost more than he could bear.
He watches the numbers dash across the little display on the
cell, unknowing, uncaring. They collect in an orderly, coded
fashion. They spell out death with pristine clairity. He feels
his breath catch in his throat as he interprets them. The heaviness
in his chest rages once again, and he is suddenly aware of the
illegality of his actions. The woman beside him . . . My God,
I should've arrested her. It's my bloody job, for pete's sake
. . . If they knew . . .
Max is staring at him. For the first time, he lets himself look
back, look at her full in the face. He sees realization wash
over her, sees the sudden, frightened dialation of her pupils.
She must have seen the code flash across the cell's display.
But it is just that, a code. She shouldn't know, she shouldn't
be able to solve it.
"I. . ."
"We have our own language," she says, and takes the
little toy from him. He lets her, unprotesting.
She cradles it in her hands and speaks, as though to a friend:
"There will be a death tonight. Someone will die because
of a law unfairly made. Because of scapegoats, and the need to
understand. I see my death." The future unfolds around her.
It unfolds like a bird streaching its great, ravaged wings. It
unfolds into the night ahead with wrenching finality. He see
is it flee in front of him, terrible and haunting. He sees it
end in a shotgun blast.
He tries to breathe, ever so carefully. He feels the curling
heaviness in his chest. It must come out, another Grant,
another voice thinks practically inside his head. It must be
fixed. It must be banished. It is still there, coiled oppressively
around him. It will drown him, he thinks. I'm going to drown
in a sea of sprockets and wires and mechanical blood. . . But
the words were not his own. He remembers them from last night,
the blond man's head bent in his hands, whispering. I'm going
mad.
"We've nowhere else to go," she says. Her head is still
bowed to the little cell. Her voice is quiet, solumn, but not
anguished. It jumps just then, though, betraying her. "We
come here, to hide, but he always finds us. I watched the television
last night. I saw what he did."
"Who?" he asks, carefully. He knows who, but wonders
if she will use his name.
"When you name someone, you give them power." She says
softly, as though reading his mind.
Grant frowns. She still has not looked at him. She stares at
the cell as thought its power is great and wide, and will save
her.
"I've never done anything to them, ever, and still they
want to . . ." she looks up at Grant, bewildered. There
is a terrible anguish in her eyes. A breeze gently moves her
dark hair. Loose strands waft into her eyes, across her freckled
nose and into the corner of her mouth. She ignores the rebellious
hair, and stares intently at him. "I've never done anything
to him," she says again.
"He doesn't care," Grant answers truthfully. "It's
the law. No artificial beings or androids allowed in the City.
We just do our jobs." He hesitates, then adds, ruthlessly;
"It's not personal."
In the sandbox, Owly laughs loudly, and pummels her castle. It
crumbles beneath the blows, damp sand scattering. "Take
that! And that! Silly princess!" she chortles. "I am
a dragon! I am bigger than you!" Her laughter rings wildly
through out the empty park. It echoes merrily throughout the
silent trees, and she beams up at Grant and the android, eyes
joyful beneath her black bangs.
"I should go," The android stands, gracefully. Grant
thinks back to when she perched on the jungle gym, balanced with
inhuman agility, like a bird about to take flight.
Suddenly she reaches forward, and grasps his hand.
"Please," she says, final desperation making her grip
painful. "Remember me. Please. May won't. I'm just a cause
to her, and she'll find another, sooner or later. Owly's too
young . . . Please, will you? Remember me . . ?"
He wants to pull his hand away. He does not want to look at her
winsome, freckled face, and see the wholesome beauty in her dark
eyes. He wants to remain balanced between two worlds, taking
from each, never giving. He wants things to be the same. He wishes
she was not holding his hand. He wishes he could not feel how
soft her skin is, nor see how earnestly she looks at him.
"I will," he says. The words are clear. They do not
catch in his throat.
"Thank you." The moment is understated. There is no
brilliant flash of light. Policemen do not appear out of the
park's foliage to arrest him for this final choosing. There is
nothing but Owly laughing in the sandbox. The dragon has sent
the princess and her army fleeing from the City, in tattered
rags. They will hunt for a new castle, and begin a new, better
City. She turns to smooth, un-scarred sand, and builds another
mound. "This will be for you," she tells the princess.
"This is your castle. Who wants to live with a mean old
dragon anyway?" She laughs again, and the City rises up,
new and whole, beneath her chubby fingers.
"I will remember you too," says Max. She turns and
walks away from him. He watches her straight, proud back as she
disappears out of the park, the trees bending their great leafed
branches to encircle her.
On the bench, Grant tips his head back and looks straight up,
through the clouds, to the ravaged sky. It's going to be a
very beautiful day, he thinks, and is glad for it. |